who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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