Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
