for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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