He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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