Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
