I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
