My nipple is on Facebook.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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