Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
