I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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