honey bunches of taint.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
