I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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