my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So. Much. Porn.
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