wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
