this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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