he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
