Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
