My room smells like vodka and shame
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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