I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
