i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Your penis caused this!
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