and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
