Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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