Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
