Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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