I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
