Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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