Need sex. Gaining weight.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
