I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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