she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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