That's intense
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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