Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
