? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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