Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
