No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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