i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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