He kissed a someone with a penis
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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