Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
