I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
