I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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