have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
