it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
