I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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