i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
