I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
