his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
