I must be too annoying 4 u.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
