I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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