You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
