At least make sure they are 18
Why
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
