Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
