I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
